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Old 10-23-2008, 07:48 AM   #1
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Demon Assassin

I wrote this a while ago...and Im not sure if the entire prologue will fit in one post, let alone 11+ chapters so ill just put the prologue here

Warning: Gory :3

Demon Assassin

Prologue

The Demon’s Claw Arched down, the blood-stained blades just grazed Ven’s neck as he swerved to his right to avoid the almost fatal hit.
“Heh, I guess I’m loosing my touch” He Muttered before Rolling to his left to avoid another slash from his opponent.
The Demon Ven was Facing was one of the lesser threats that he had to face in his line of work. His Client was a Priest who phoned Ven One quiet Tuesday Morning Explaining to him in his Distraught and fear filled voice that this demon had been plaguing his church and killing the villagers of his town.
The beast he had been hired to slay was about 9ft tall, it had a human shape. And that was the only thing human about it.
The Demon had horrible green and yellow bloodshot eyes that bulged from his arms, torso and the black lump on its neck that resembled a head. It’s arms were long and skinny with bits of flesh hanging off at it’s wrist and elbows. It’s Skin was black with cracks all over, the cracks were more noticeable near the joints were orange coloured pus Oozed out slowly.
It’s Legs had the build of kangaroo legs but instead of hopping the Demon walked with a strange sort of Limp. The Jaw of this foul beast was only noticeable when it opened its Mouth in an attempt to rip off the limbs of its Prey. It’s teeth were stained Black with the remains of its last meal sliding down its abnormally large incisors and Molars, Unlike Human Teeth the teeth on this demon were all Pointed, The only thing that defined them as Incisors or Molars was the shape of the Base
Most Demons can talk but some Lesser Demons such as this one can’t. The ones that can talk normally only mutter a groan in the presence of prey as they engorge themselves on the organs of their victims, but some give themselves names in an attempt to seem slightly human.
The Demon struck again with it’s Claws aiming for the Kill. Ven dodged and scanned his surroundings looking for a way to kill the beast.
He was in a Church, in fact the same church that belonged to his client. He had hoped to keep the damage to a minimal but the raging nature of this demon made it impossible for Ven to kill it by simply snapping its neck or impaling it. No, he would have to get his hands dirty this time.
The Demon’s eyes, it was impossible to tell how many there were while it was moving, locked onto Ven and the Demon Screeched out a foul sound of Hunger.
The Last Thing the demon thought of was the sweet taste of blood running down it’s throat.
The Beast curled up its hind legs, Dug its claws into the wooden floor near the Podium where the Priest would give his Holy Preaches, And with its eyes hungrily staring at its Target it Relased the power stored in its hind legs that propelled it forward, sending wooden floorboards High into the air.
Ven stood perfectly still.
The Demon soared through the air and when it was about a meter away from it’s Target Ven held out his right arm. The Lower jaw of the Foul creature connected with his Hand.
Ven’s Eyes turned a Shade of Red as opposed to their normal blue colour.
The Force of the demon colliding with him barely moved him an inch as he gripped the demons Jaw with his right hand and then with his left he swerved and grabbed the demon’s top jaw, then with a flick of his wrist he swung his arms sideways.
The little resistance given by the Demon’s brittle bones were shattered as Ven quickly brought his arms to the side, the pressure tore apart the black, puss covered skin of the beast, Life left the bloodshot eyes of his prey and blood erupted from the Demon’s torso as Ven ripped the creature in two.
“I pity the guy who has to clean this up” He Murmured as he released his grip on the creature’s Upper and lower Jaw. His eyes reverted to their normal blue colour. Before even wiping his face Ven pulled a flip up silver Cell phone from his Baggy Jeans, flipped it open and dialled the number of his Client.
“The Demon is dead, I expect my pay tomorrow” He said simply to the Microphone in his Cell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ven’s Mother was Human, but his Father, Well;
Ven’s father was a Demon.
The sum of a Human and a Demon reproducing created a Human with Demonic Powers. “Wow that’s Great” you might say but it is much worse. The product of these two beings reproducing created two creatures, a Human and a Demon, but these creatures share the same body. Normally this can be seen by some Demonic Features if the Human side is dominant and vice versa.
However because one part of him has to be dominant the demon side within is always fighting for its way out, and when it escapes the bodies will start to pile up.
Both of Ven’s arms were that of a Demon’s, They looked a little like a Sapphire in the shape of a human arm but it had an eerie Green glow that seemed to throb depending on what he was doing, When he was fighting a demon his Demonic arms glowed very brightly both blue and green, but after the battle the light would dim and it would glow more gently.
Most of his arms were covered by the Sleeves of his dark Blue Trench coat; underneath it he wore a short sleeved white T-shirt.
Ven’s Skin was pale but slightly tanned and his Hair was White and scruffy.
Ven was his Human Name; His Mother told him that it was Latin for wind.
But He had another name,
A Name for his Demon side;

Beowolf.
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Old 10-23-2008, 11:25 AM   #2
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Lol I didn't finish it, only read the first few sentences and the ending XD But I really really liked

(I never read people's stories till the end >.> At least for u I read the end ._.)
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Old 10-25-2008, 03:26 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Leesa View Post
Lol I didn't finish it, only read the first few sentences and the ending XD But I really really liked

(I never read people's stories till the end >.> At least for u I read the end ._.)
XD Thank you ?
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Old 10-25-2008, 07:00 PM   #4
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Nice prologue, but it could be better. Still better that anything I tried though.
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Old 10-25-2008, 11:52 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Vasu View Post
Nice prologue, but it could be better. Still better that anything I tried though.
Yeah i know, it could be alot better. But thanks ^^
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Old 10-26-2008, 06:08 AM   #6
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looks promising.

can't wait for chapter 1.
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Old 10-26-2008, 11:26 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by lamchopz View Post
looks promising.

can't wait for chapter 1.
I have 10, almost 11 chapters o.o if you want me to PM you Chapter 1, First ill see if it will fit in this post

Demon Assassin

Chapter 1 – The Start of an Inferno

“Ven.......No...... Beowolf”


‘Dumm Dee Dumdum Dee’
“Urgh” Ven Moaned as he lifted himself out of the Scruffy, captivating bed in the corner of his Room.
‘Dumm Dee Dumdum Dee’
Another Moan escaped his Mouth as he realised what the Oh so Familiar sound was.
Ven Picked up his Cell phone from the Table Beside his Bed and flipped it open. “H...Hello?” He Murmured, Still drunk with sleep.
“Hello Ven” A monotonous Voice said blatantly. “I Understand that you take care of Others’, Oh how shall I put this; ‘Little Problems’?”
“Yeh, that’s me but I’ve Never heard of Demons Being Called ‘Little Problems’ before” Ven Replied with a smirk.
“Yes, well call them what you will. Come to this address at Midday Sharp, I am in Need of your services” The Mysterious Voice then proceeded to tell Ven the address of his estate and Explicit instructions to Enter through the Back door and to take Great care as to not alert any of the Neighbours.
“I assure you, the pay will be Bountiful” The Voice added before Hanging up. Ven looked at the watch on his Table, 11:23.
“Crap, No time to Shower” Ven Blurted before throwing on the Jeans and shirt he had wore the night before to Kill the Priests ‘Little Problem’. He had received his pay for Killing the Demon of the Church on his way back Home, And before getting a chance to wash the Clothes that were Now stained with dried Demon blood he had fallen victim to the embrace of sleep.
Ven Threw on his Dark Blue Trench coat and Jumped out of the Second story Window of his room only to land gracefully in a crouching Position with both his arms throbbing gently.
He ran down his Driveway and dived into the Driver’s seat of his White Ferrari. Ven Glanced back at his Manor, His house was alone atop the small hill, just as Ven had been Alone, Alone to Struggle against Beowolf, Alone to Stare Hell in the Face.

Ven started the ignition and Glanced at the luminous clock on the dashboard, 11:28.
He slammed his foot onto the Pedal and set off down the Road into the City, where the Inhabitants were drinking their coffee getting ready for the day ahead.
The Directions his Client had given him lead Ven down a twisting alleyway that opened out into a Quiet and subtle Street, the Estate at the end of the road Drew all attention away from the rest of the Neighbourhood. Ven Slowly parked his Ferrari in the driveway, trying not to bring attention to Himself would be Difficult as already he noticed people looking out of their windows at the new arrival.
“Master, The Assassin has arrived” Said one of the Estates Many Butlers
“An Assassin? You brought another Assassin? Or am I-” An effeminate Voice Said discreetly to the wealthy man opposite her. Her Complaint was interrupted as Ven entered the room.
A Short Man dressed in a Black Suit Stood Sharply and turned to greet his Guest. “Welcome, Ven. I Believe we talked on the Phone? I am Dr Terra Crippler.” The Name seemed Slightly Familiar but Ven Dismissed the feeling as he spoke directly to the man Taking little interest in the Woman sitting on the Chair opposite him. “Yes, Nice to meet you Dr. Crippler” Ven Said Simply, his Blue eyes quickly Scanning the room as the person who had called him only half and a hour before sat down.
The Couch His client was sitting on was a Dark Leather, The Carpet was a Dark red colour, A slightly Darker shade than Blood, A Large Chandelier with many Lights on top of it dangled from the White ceiling, A Large Beige coloured Wardrobe sat in the corner of the room and a Marble Fireplace warmed the Demonic Flesh on his Arms, Causing them to throb more slowly as if approving the Warmth.
“Please have a seat Next to me” Dr. Crippler said eagerly to Ven, His voice seemed less Monotonous is Person but there was no doubt that this was the Man on the phone. Ven sat down on the Leather Sofa that the Dr had been patting seconds earlier, His gaze settled upon the Woman sitting opposite Him on a Leather Chair similar to the Sofa he himself was sitting on.
The Woman had flowing Red hair and Beautiful Emerald eyes. Her Skin was Caucasian but slightly pale. She wore a Red Sleeveless Jacket on top of a Black Long Sleeves T-shirt with Tight Blue Jeans and Casual Black Shoes. She was defiantly Human, Not Demonic like Himself. Her Expression was one of Boredom and her Eyes were purposely avoiding Ven’s Gaze.
“And this is Scarlett” Dr. Crippler Said while holding his Left hand out to the Woman Opposite them.
“Nice to meet you” Ven Murmured before turning his head back to his Client. “Now Please could you tell me more about my Objective.” Ven Smirked, already imagining The Battle ahead.
“Very Well, if you could join me to the Dining room I shall tell you everything about your Target.” The Short man said before clapping his Hands twice.
His Butler was at the door immediately. “This way Master Ven, Madam Scarlett” The Butler said softly while gesturing to Two Large white doors with Golden Decorations around the sides.
Ven was slightly curious as to why Scarlett was joining them, usually he met his Clients alone to discuss his Target but sometimes a Life Partner or Wife joined the conversation. It was hard to imagine the Radiant Scarlett Being Married to a stiff like Dr. Crippler but anything’s possible.
The Dining Room was Larger than the Previous room they had been in, Ven’s attention was immediately drawn to the Large Mahogany Table in the Middle of the room. It was at least 7ft long with a Total of 8 Leather Chairs Placed at it’s Sides.
“Please Have a Seat” Dr. Crippler Said welcomingly while gesturing at the seats beside him. The Doctor sat at the Head of the table with Ven on his Left and Scarlett on his right, Her Emerald Eyes Focused on Ven “So, What do I have to deal with?” He said nervously trying to break the Stare of the Red-Haired Woman.
“Ah, yes, Well the Demons that I seem to be having trouble with seem to be of the lesser kind.” His Client Said While Pulling a Few Blurry Pictures out of his Coat Pocket. Most of the Pictures were Out of Focus and it was hard to see their content, But one Picture Managed to get a clear picture of the Demon.
There were Multiple Demons; they were about 4ft tall with an Aqua-Greyish Colour to their skin. They had small, black, eyes that resembled that of a bug’s. The Demons have no mouth, only a series on holes with sharp Points of flesh dotted around them. They had no Hands, the end of their arms just ended in jagged stumps. These were his Client’s ‘Little Problems’. Literally.
“So, How Many Demons are we talking about roughly here?” Scarlett answered from opposite him. He started to wonder who this Woman was. But before he could inquire about this mysterious woman Dr. Crippler had started to Reply:
“Oh, only a few I assume.” He stated as his Butler entered the room to Whisper something to Scarlett. “I took these pictures during their third attack and there has never been more than 4 or 5”
“WHAT?!?” Scarlett Immediately shouted out at what the Butler, who had jumped back, Startled, had whispered to her “I’m supposed to let this Guys steal all the credit?!” she Screamed at the Butler and then at Dr. Crippler before storming out of the room in Anger.
“Oh Dear...” the Doctor started before Ven interrupted. “Actually, I was wondering something” Ven Blurted out quickly while scratching his Neck, “Who is that Girl?”
“Oh, Oh my. I thought you Knew. Well, Um....”
“Spit it out Doc” Ven Blurted impatiently while leaning forward
“Well, Scarlett is your Partner for this assignment”
“....”
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew, and she will be sharing the Reward with you”
Ven was taken back, “So she’s....?”
“Yes Ven, Scarlett is a Demon hunter.”

Not as exciting as Prologue, but it gets better in the next chapters
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Old 10-27-2008, 11:58 AM   #8
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Nice work, but you might want to work on paragraphs and indentations.

That should make it easier to read.
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We ran to the sounds of thunder
We danced among the lightning bolts
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Old 10-27-2008, 12:47 PM   #9
Phantom Badger
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Originally Posted by Vasu View Post
Nice work, but you might want to work on paragraphs and indentations.

That should make it easier to read.
I did it on Microsoft Word 2007 and it looks so much better on there since the paragraphs are defined alot xD
Thanks for the criticism though ^^
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Old 10-27-2008, 01:09 PM   #10
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Have you finished the story? As in, is the 11 chapters all there is to it? If so, can you mail the story to me? I'll PM you my mail address if it's fine. If not, I'll wait till you're done. ^^
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