i don't even know what to do.

[In_Dying_Days]

i just found out a really really good friend of mine that a grew up with has been dead for six months.

we lost touch a couple years ago so i had no idea.

I don't know what to think.

[lamchopz]

It's OK.

Don't grieve too much.

So long as the person is still in your memory, he/she is still as alive as ever. =]

[Hraesvelg]

I feel ya. I've found out over the years several of the people that I grew up with/went to high school have died. I always seem to be the last to know. I've made an ass out of myself a few times when I've said, "Hey, remember when $person did that? I wonder what they're up to..." only to get treated to awkward silence and a "Uh, he's dead..."

[cillia]

D:> aw....

i feel ya too >.< i didnt find out that my great grandma died until like a year later and i was just like... O-O ???!!

[Hraesvelg]

Harsh, cillia. That's family. It seems like it would have come up earlier.

To the OP, if all else fails, I find a good stiff scotch helps dull a bit of the initial pain. Just don't overdo it. No more than, say, two bottles at a time.

[Mindspank]

In all honesty, and im going to play devils advocate again on this one, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Its human nature to grieve the loss, but if you think about it, you were spared the initial impact of the event by about six months. So those who were there for the event have grieved and can help you through the process better than if you were greiving at the same time. Suffering plus suffering equals larger suffering, but at least the others who went throgh it will better help you to deal with it.

At the risk of sounding extremely insensitive, you are unsure about what to do because part of you wants to disregard it because its been so long after the fact. So in reality, you can only do what you have been doing since the day before you found out: Live. Take the time to greive, remember your friend, and move on. In all honesty ill never forget what my wifes uncle said hours before he passed: "Dont greive for me longer than a day, because it will pain me to know that my passing has caused you pain and sorrow. Remember me and smile, and know that I am in a better place now."

I feel your friend would want you to remember him positively more than greive.

[MikeyG]

I've now had two really close friends die in the last 6 months
and it's hard but the best thing to do is try to move on, there is a time
for grieving, but to get over it and just keep living your life is the best thing to do. Especially if the person died doing something dumb, try to learn from it. And remember its not your fault ...

[Lady-Loki]

At this time there is not a lot you can do.

I suggest giving a memorial donation to any childrens charity in their names.

It doesn't have to be a large donation, even a $5 donation can be added to other $5 donations and used to buy a child something they want or need or used for helping sick children from poor families.

Generally on memorial donations the receiving organization asks where to send a notification and then the deceased's family gets a warm feeling knowing that someone remembered their loved one months later.

[In_Dying_Days]

wow guys!
thanks a whole lot!

your a really helpfully bunch.

i guess I'll just move on then.